Shugo Chara! Talkshow
by screen-chan
Summary: It's a talkshow! YAY! My first Shugo Chara! talkshow, sooo...rated T JUST IN CASE there might be pairings
1. Episode 1

**ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Shugo Chara! Talk show…Now introducing the randomly selected people who shall participate…Wait. Some of the people aren't here yet, are they?**

**Screen-chan: Of course they aren't. they're always late. The retards…anyways. Get on with the introductions with the people who are already here.**

**ANNOUNCER: Okay. Introducing…Tadase the Gay clown…**

**Tadase: I am NOT a gay clown!**

**Screen-chan: Then stop acting like one. Did I mention you look like one to..?**

**ANNOUNCER: Shut up and let me finish Introductions. Anyways…where was I? Oh yes…Tadase the gay clown Tadase fumes in back round looks about ready to punch somebody Ikuto the perverted cat ears cosplay guy..**

**Ikuto: What do you mean? I'm not perverted…No, no. you couldn't possibly have meant me.**

**ANNOUNCER: BE QUIET!! I'm trying to do the &# introductions here!**

**Screen-chan: Announcer…have you taken your pills?**

**ANNOUNCER: Umm…would 'no' be an exceptional answer?**

**Screen-chan: No, it would not. Go and take and DON"T do an overdose like last time. I'll finish the introductions.**

**ANNOUNCER: Okay…You do that while I take my pills…**

**Screen-chan: And I swear if ANYBODY, I repeat, ANYBODY, interrupts me, they will be thrown out of the talkshow and into that harsh world which I adopted you from!**

**Everybody: …?**

**Screen-chan: Now…here we go. Nagihiko, the shemale, ah ah ah, Nagihiko…Amu, the slut…Amu…calm down. And Ikuto, I swear, if you beat me up, you will most DEFINITELY be thrown out. Now, where was I? Ahh yes. Yaya, the cute little candy freak. Yaya…I said you're cute…and you're really funny with those ducks that might've been a spoiler. Kairi, the double crosser who double crosses…Kairi, you know it's true Another spoiler Kukai, the sports crazed, ultra hot guy who's still not as smexy as Ikuto…Kukai, you're still hot. Rima, the shy little clown girl…Man, we have a lot of randomly picked people…I thought there was only three or five…wow…and what the hell is SAAYA doing here?! Ikuto, go kick her out. And last, but definitely not least, ME!! Screen-chan! Now you guys can talk.**

**Amu: Finally!**

**Ikuto: Is that all you have to say, my sweet?**

**Tadase: Wait…when did she become your sweet?**

**Ikuto:… Since I wanted to?**

**Amu: Whaaa…Tadase, get the heck out of here.**

**Screen-chan: Hold on. Only I'M allowed to boot people out. And I also wanted to give Ikuto some competition. And to give both Ikuto and Tadase some trouble…I secretly put Kukai and Nagihiko on the talkshow! Muahahahahahaaaa!**

**Kukai/Nagihiko: So **_**that's**_** how we got on…I was wondering as we hadn't even entered…**

**Screen-chan: I'm evil, aren't I?**

**Rima: …yeah…I guess…you are…**

**Yaya: And Yaya don't like to work with evil people! Oh well…at least I get to be with Kukai-kun!**

**Kukai:…Screen-chan…help me! gets tackled by Yaya**

**Screen-chan: I don't think I will…Anyways. See you next time on Shugo Chara! Talkshow! Now…where's that Announcer….**


	2. Episode 2

**ANNOUNCER: Well, here is the second installment of Shugo Chara! Talkshow! Welcome, welcome. Here with us today-**

**Screen-chan: Announcer, have you taken your pills today?**

**ANNOUNCER: Yes, in fact, I have. Anyways, with us today is Tadase the gay clown -Tadase fumes- Ikuto, the perverted cat eared cosplay guy, -Ikuto about ready to character transform with Yoru- Rima the clown, Yaya, the crazy candy freak, -Yaya is mad- Kukai, the sports freak,-looks about ready to kill-Kairi, the young kid who works too much and will gray his hair at age 15-Kairi is real mad-Nagihiko, the shemale-getting ready to character change with Temari-Amu, the blind chosen one who's a slut-Ikuto character transforms with Yoru and kills Announcer-**

**Screen-chan: Well, Ikuto. Looks like your touchy about who calls Amu what. Anyways, let me go on with the Introductions. And…It looks like we have another person coming. I think her name is Utau? Ahh, yes that's it. Utau Tsukiyomi, the brother complexed child.**

**Ikuto: Nooooooooooooooo!!-starts to run away-**

**Utau: -grabs him back- I don't think your running away from **_**me**_**…-starts smothering him with kisses-**

**Amu: Nnnooooooo!!-runs over and beats Utau up-**

**Screen-chan: Man, there's a lot of Violence in this chapter.**

**Kukai: You bet, babe.**

**Yaya: Noooooo!-grabs Kukai and throws him on the floor-**

**Kukai: Violent child! And you wonder why I don't go out with you!**

**Rima:…Tadase…I'm bored. Entertain me.**

**Tadase: Yes, milady. -starts entertaining and pampering Rima-**

**Rima: That's better.**

**Nagihiko: Amu…I have a confession-spoiler-I kind of…like you. But I can understand if you don't like me…**

**Amu:…Oh…I think your kind of cute though.**

**Ikuto:…Nagihiko, if you want to live, you'd go now.**

**Nagihiko:…okay.-starts running-**

**Amu: Ikuto…I was only saying that because he's my best friend and I didn't want to hurt his feelings.**

**Ikuto: oh. Sorry.**

**Screen-chan: Ahh, well. I don't have anybody. That always happens.**

**Nagihiko: What about me?**

**Screen-chan: You're cute, like Amu said, but not the one I'm after. More like..**

**Tadase: Like me?!**

**Screen-chan: NO! Never someone like you! You're to gay looking and that random piece of hair bothers me! And besides, Rima wants you.**

**Tadase: What random piece of hair?-whips out a mirror-**

**Everybody: OMG! He has a mirror on him at all times?**

**Rima:…Tadase, you drool. KAIRI!!**

**Kairi: Yes?**

**Rima: You didn't add the 'milady'. Add it, now.**

**Kairi: Fine, fine. Yes, milady?**

**Screen-chan: Oh my gosh, Rima! Would you stop it already?**

**Amu: Hey, Screen-chan! That's supposed to be **_**me**_** saying that! I'm supposed to be the straightforward girl that nobody…likes…-breaks down in tears-**

**Ikuto: -appearing out of nowhere-There, there, Amu. It's okay. I like you. No, more than Like, I ADORE you, and I LOVE you.**

**Amu: Oh, thank you, Ikuto!-starts snuggling against him-**

**Screen-chan: -sighs- And I **_**still**_** have no one…**

**Tadase: Well, I'm-**

**Screen-chan: In your dreams, you gay clown.**

**Tadase: -shocked**

**Rima: Now you know why I chose Kairi over you, Tadase.**

**Tadase:-runs over to a random corner and cries-**

**Kairi/Screen-chan/Rima: Exactly.**

**Ikuto: Hey…where did my brother complexed sister go?**

**Utau: Were you asking for me?**

**Ikuto: Of course not! You **_**annoy**_** me! Get away from me…**

**Utau: It's about that dumb Amu, isn't it? I'll beat her up for you!-dies immediately by her brother's hand-**

**Screen-chan:…Ikuto…you need to stop killing people…Our show could be taken off and replaced with Vampire Knights people…**

**Amu: Yeah, Ikuto! Then you wouldn't be able to harass me! Whoops…-runs-**

**Ikuto: Yeah, I guess your right. -runs after Amu-**

**Screen-chan: -hears thump- o.O I wonder what's going on…-runs after-**

**Kukai: Wait, girl! Don't get involved with them! Come back, babe!**

**Yaya: You just called her babe, didn't you?-tackles and starts to smother with kisses-**

**Screen-chan: So let me see, the couples are…Yaya and Kukai-pouts-Kairi and Rima-shouts in backround-Amu and Ikuto-yelps of joy-Tadase and his gayness-Tadase sad(who really cares?)-Nagihiko and Utau-Nagihiko wails-and me and….nobody… -wails in corner-**

**Kukai: Screen-chan! -tries to run for her-**

**Yaya: I don't think so, funny boy!-pulls back-**

**Screen-chan:-recovers immediately- Now, that's it for installment two for the Shugo Chara! Talkshow! See you next time! There might be some news with Amu and Ikuto…Bye!**


	3. episode 3

**Screen-chan: Hi! As Ikuto VIOLENTLY killed he Announcer last time, I shall do the announcing. I shall be precocious. Kuro-chan, are you ready to transform, just in case?**

**Kuro: Yes, Screen-chan! Hi! Everybody, I'm Screen-chan's Guardian Chara! My specialty is helping people! But, sometimes I have to hurt them. Which I don't like to do, as it is result of violence, just like Ikuto.**

**Screen-chan: All right, Kuro. Anyways, introductions. **

**Ikuto: But we've already done introductions for the first two shows!-starts sulking-**

**Screen-chan: Oh, I just can't STAND to see you sulk, Ikuto!**

**Amu and Utau: How dare you call him by his name so freely!(really, what the heck is wrong them?!)**

**Ikuto: Oh, no. That's all right. We can…be associated as…familiar with each other..-smirks-**

**Screen-chan:-melts under smirk and blushes like madwoman(not madMAN as girls aren't men)-Oh…Ikutooooo!!-screeches and flings herself at him-**

**Ikuto: Okay! Not **_**that**_** familiar…**

**Utau: Oh, good. Because you're mine!-flings Screen-chan off and smothers him in kisses-**

**Amu: Oh no, you don't! This girl ain't going to take any of your crap!-flings at Utau while beating her up-**

**Ikuto: Well, well, well. It looks like I have my little Amu fighting for me.-smirks-**

**Nikaidou: Now, now, children.-flips hair like girl-We need to behave ourselves.-random wind blows like he's a hero-**

**Nagihiko: Where'd the heck HE come from?!**

**Screen-chan: Now you see why Introductions are important.**

**Ikuto: I guess your right. Can you PLEASE do the remaining people who are coming on?**

**Screen-chan: Well, actually…Nikaidou-sensei isn't actually supposed to be on here…and there's no one else coming. So…Let's get this talkshow started!**

**Kukai: Hey, where's Yaya?**

**Screen-chan: Finally you realize you love her! Yay! :3**

**Kukai: I never said that…**

**Nagihiko: Then what's with the trailing off?**

**Rima:…that doesn't mean anything…**

**Kairi: Yeah! She's right…**

**Kukai: So? I like Screen-chan! She's so pretty…her eyes could take-**

**Yaya: Don't you dare talk about Screen-chii like that! Your only supposed to talk about me like that!**

**Kukai: I might if you took your hair down…**

**Yaya:-takes ribbons out of hair-there. Is that better?-everyone stares-Really? Is it**_** That **_**bad?-makes to put it up again-**

**Kukai: No!-reaches over and takes ribbons from her while accidentally kissing her-**

**Yaya: -bursting with joy- Yay! Yaya got her first kiss!**

**Kukai: …whoops…sorry Screen-chan…**

**Screen-chan: That's alright, Kukai. Wait…where's Tadase? Oh, yeah. I forgot. He went to go get his sex change, so it would be easier to deal with his gayness.**

**Nagihiko: Well…Screen-chan…what about me? I don't think I'm paired with anybody…**

**Screen-chan: Ok! As long as you cut off your hair…**

**Nagihiko: It's always about the hair, isn't it? -sighs as he cuts it off-**

**Screen-chan: That's better!**

**Rima:…does anybody know where Amu and Ikuto are?**

**Yaya: Lets go look! Everybody, commence look sequence!-everybody starts looking-Hey, look! Yaya found them! They're in the bedroom, on the bed…doing something that Yaya's eyes aren't old enough to see!-walks petrified and probably scarred for life out of a hallway-**

**Kukai: Don't worry, Yaya. I'm here to wipe that memory away!-grins and puts thumbs up-**

**Yaya:-cuts thumbs off-How could you be that way! Yaya is scarred for life now!**

**Kukai: Man, people in this talkshow are **_**violent**_**!-wraps up thumbs-**

**Screen-chan: Kukai, lets get you to a hospital. Anyways, bye for now! And next time, send in your questions and we'll do our best to answer most of them! Adios!**


	4. Episode 4

**Screen-chan: Sorry for taking so long! We had to go to court because Ikuto -cough cough- killed the announcer…He put our entire show at risk! Well, we have a new person. Her name is Alice, and no, she's not from Shugo Chara!. She's my second chara…:D. **

**Alice: Yo.**

**Ikuto: Hey, don't use my opening phrase!**

**Everyone: -crickets chirping in backround-…?**

**Ikuto: Uh…hehe? Got to go!**

**Amu/Utau: I don't think so, Meester leetle boi!**

**Ikuto: Crap!**

**Kukai: Where's Yaya?**

**Yaya: I'm right here! You better have sweets!**

**Kukai: I sure do. -hands her bagful of candy with evil grin on face-**

**Screen-chan: Yaya, don't eat those yet. Have Tadase-er- Tadasia try them first. They might be poisoned.**

**Yaya: But…**

**Tadasia: Yay! -eats one and drops dead-**

**Everyone: Yay!**

**Screen-chan/Yaya: Kukai! You tried to kill Yaya/me!**

**Kukai: -sweat drops- uh oh….-runs-**

**Yaya: -runs after him-**

**Nagihiko: Hey, Screen-chan!**

**Screen-chan: Hi!**

**Ikuto: Ummm…-sweat drops-**

**Amu: Hey, Ikuto…**

**Ikuto: Yes, Amu?**

**Amu: Hi. **

**Ikuto: -rolls eyes- Hey, Amu…**

**Amu: Yes?**

**Screen-chan: Okay, everybody, shut the urrrppp up!**

**Everyone: uhhh…**


End file.
